Anxious

Today is April 23rd. Four days from today would be my son’s 2nd birthday.

The anxiety is greater, the pain is ever-present.
Crying happens often.
The constant thoughts, wishes, memories flashing by as I sit at my desk.

Hearing my husband whisper in my ear “We have a son.”  His first cry.  His eyes as he searched for me, looking at me, when they wheeled him in his isolette to the NICU.  Less than 2 minutes after his birth.  My husband showing me his picture while I was in recovery.  How his little hand felt when he wrapped his figures around mine for the first time.  He was 3 1/2 hours old.  Watching him open his eyes and stare as his father each time he heard his voice.  The way his head felt next to my cheek, the first time I held and rocked him.  The way Husband’s face shone the first time he held him.  Rocking him to sleep for the last time.   

 

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3 responses

  1. Wishing you strength and courage as you make your way through this hard time.

    April 23, 2014 at 10:34 pm

    • Jo

      Thank you.

      April 24, 2014 at 7:52 am

  2. Meg

    Hugs and love. ❤

    April 24, 2014 at 9:21 am

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