Lately…

Those of you that belong to the “Club” know the meaning of I am great…

That is the go to answer for all questions. How are you? How was your week? How are you handling things? How do you feel? The list continues.

This is my answer for all lately. I am great. Well that is all that really matters. Some would have the opinion that I am not great. However I belong to the “Club”. I get up each day, I get dressed, I work for a number of hours…usually more than the required 8. I do some laundry when the drawers look empty, I clean when it needs it. My husband has something to eat throughout the day. No, it may not be a meat and potato meal but it is something. Can of soup, grilled cheese, noodles, what have you.. Does it really matter? I try to remember to consult my bill calendar, and pay them on time.

After three years I am still not able to maintain a schedule. I cannot even fathom when or if that will ever happen again. Gone are the days of leaving work, running the errands on the way home. Doing housework, laundry and having a warm meal on the table when my husband arrives home. All before 8 pm and still having time to hit the treadmill, watch some TV or read.

Each and every part of yourself changes. Your outlook, your wants, your needs. Nothing will ever be the same again. Despite it all, most in our lives do not understand it still. They cannot understand why this would be a hard month for us. Why we suffer from insomnia. Why when I come home Friday night I make sure I go to the store so that when I close the door, I do not have to leave the house again until Monday morning.

I have an announcement. I believe that I am great. I got up today. I got dressed in clean clothes, went to work, paid the bills and fed my husband.

Who are they to question if I am great or not?

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