Sometimes life has an odd way of talking to you from the past and present.
30+ years ago my family built a new home and moved in. There is a small river running through my little town. We lived on one side of the “creek”. Across the way, are many friends we have grown up with and been close to our whole lives. Traveled on the school bus, friends of my parents etc.
Fast forward 15 years. I met DH, we dated, fell and love, got married. We had never known each other as children and met when I was in my mid 20’s.
My neighbors and friends across the way = my husband’s family. Cousins and Aunt.
Yesterday, as I was preparing to leave work we got word that a family member had passed. My husband’s Great-Aunt. My old neighbor. A wonderful woman in her mid-nineties. Loving and kind. It is the first sibling his grandmother has lost. She is nearly 92 years old.
This morning as I sat down at my desk. My phone rang. It was my mother. A friend’s son passed away in a car accident last night. Two more are injured. This friend was my neighbor, my childhood friend. He is their only child. A loving and kind young man. He is the great-grandson to the wonderful woman who passed yesterday.
All of my neighbors, my friends = my family. We will meet this week at the funeral home. Twice.
Sometimes the circles of our lives are vast and large. Sometimes they are small and very near.
Today, I sit with a heavy heart. Much emotion and memories. I think of my DH and I. Our empty room at home. I think of my poor family and their now empty room. I send thoughts and prayers. They are now part of my “Club”. The “Club” that cost so very much to join.
I know that there is nothing I can say at this time. There are no words that will make this different. The only wisdom I can impart, it ok to feel. The anger, rage, deflation, the tears. It is all normal. It is our normal. No one knows this path but the members of our “Club”. Never apologize for feeling, for wanting, for loving. Never apologize for grieving. One does not grieve unless one has loved. We know much love.