Posts tagged “Lonely

The long path

Time does not change the reality of our lives.  I have touched before on coping.  4 years and 7 weeks later.  I am still living.

This weekend we attended a family wedding.  My husband was part of the wedding party.  Which meant I was left to put in my time between events and to find my own seat during the reception.  The weather held and it was a nice day had by all.

That being said, regardless of it being family and close personal friends, I still felt alone.  Strange I know, however from 8 am until 8 pm I was left to my own device.  Hair, makeup, waiting for the ceremony, watching my husband from afar.  Cousins taking care of their family and children etc.  I just had my camera and my lip gloss.

I was surrounded by 100 people, yet I was so very alone.  Nothing in life prepares you for these events and passing of time.  I believe this will get worse with time.  What will 50 be like when all we know are going to graduation or watching grandchildren.  I have spent the last 8 months trying to organize these thoughts in my head and to try to understand where we are heading in life as a family.

I continue to ask myself this question “why do they tell you that grief gets easier”?  Seriously, have these people even stopped to think about the consequences to this grief and it’s relationship with the rest of that person/families life?